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March 1, 2016

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Best think twice about divorce, couples are told

Source: Xinhua | March 1, 2016, Tuesday | Print Edition

LI An is living happily with his wife again, a year after they applied for divorce following endless quarrels over taking care of their baby.

Li, 28, became a dad last year, but arrival of the baby brought with it many problems, and the couple found themselves always fighting over nothing.

At a civil affairs bureau in Dali Bai Autonomous Prefecture in southwest China’s Yunnan province, a member of staff would not, as they expected, grant them a divorce, instead handing them a reservation form and telling them to come back the next week if they still wanted to go ahead.

“The seven days are a grace period,” said Wang Zhaowei, head of Dali’s civil affairs bureau. “Many couples, especially the young, rush irrationally into decisions. They will probably change their mind after they calm down.”

China’s divorce rate is rising rapidly. In 2014, 3.6 million couples broke up, almost double the number in the previous decade.

In the past, couples required permission from employers or community committees to divorce, and many put up with their spouses to avoid public embarrassment.

A 2003 regulation on marriage and divorce simplified procedures and allowed couples to divorce the same day at a cost of 10 yuan (US$1.5).

Reservations and appointments began in Dali on February 1, 2015. By the end of last year, 9,571 couples had made reservations, but 4,531 of them did not end in divorce. Similar systems are in place in many other cities.

Such measures are not without their critics. “It is not proper for governments to put obstacles in front of people wanting a divorce, because Chinese citizens enjoy freedom of marriage,” said Nie Aiping of the Jiangxi Academy of Social Sciences. He said interventions should be conducted by an impartial organization.

Liu Min, a divorce lawyer in east China’s Anhui Province said: “In the past people wanted to divorce mostly because of domestic violence and affairs, now it is increasingly common among young couples to separate after trivial disputes or interference of their parents.”

Parents tend to interfere

Most people born in the 1980s and 1990s are only children whose parents tend to interfere too much in their lives, Liu said.

For couples rushing to divorce, marriage guidance offices have been set up next to registry offices in many parts of the country.

Registrars in Anhui have been trained to determine whether a marriage can be saved or not, said Gao Jiamei of its civil affairs department.

In Hefei, the provincial capital, professional counselors work alongside registrars. They help couples think over their relationship, establishing a sense of responsibility leading to a rational choice.

“Most couples eager to get divorced choose to postpone their decision after consulting,” said Wang Wenjing, secretary-general of the Hefei marriage counselors’ association.

However, the choice finally lies with the couple themselves.

Yang Jing, who had been married for five years and has a 3-year-old son, insisted on divorce because her husband’s parents lived with them and decided everything for them. She talked about it with her husband several times, to no avail.

“Others may see me as crazy for divorcing a husband who has made no big mistakes,” she said. “But I don’t want to make do with marriage like this for the rest of my life.”

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