The hedonic treadmill and the dark side of happiness
Print Edition
“I just want you to be happy” is what my mom told me when I was growing up. She didn’t mind which career path I chose or who I fell in love with; all she needed from her daughter was the promise of happiness. And while well meaning, I’ve come to realize that happiness is a tight noose to put around anyone’s neck.
What is happiness? Is there a summit of joy, or is it an endless journey on which we never reach our destination? I turned to you with my question:
“Happiness is not just a destination; it’s a way of traveling through life.” (Mind Body & Fortune)
“Happiness is a feeling that can’t be traded for anything else in the world.” (Hamdi)
“Happiness is a fleeting moment when we’re suspended in time and space, away from all the pain of life.” (Patric)
Lovely, but how many of us can claim to be happy? Like some 322 million people worldwide, I live with depression. And with antidepressants on the rise, it seems in a world obsessed with being happy, plenty of us are anything but.
Next Wednesday is World Happiness Day. It was established by the United Nations in 2012 to recognize the importance of happiness and well-being as global goals and aspirations. Nobody wants to be miserable, so of course happiness is something to aspire to. And thanks to social media, we’re in no shortage of inspiration.
People love to flaunt their happiness, and you need only jump online if you want to feel unhappy about your body, career or home life. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat create the belief that who we are and what we have is never enough. We could always be hotter, healthier, wealthier and of course happier. You know this. But before dismissing comparison as cliché or a minor issue, it’s worth looking at the growing body of research linking social media use with low mood.
A study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that individuals who use social media for more than two hours a day are twice as likely to experience feelings of isolation.
While research by the Royal Society for Public Health and the Young Health Movement revealed social media platforms can have negative effects on mental health, particularly with anxiety, depression and body image.
The impact social media has on our perception and pursuit of happiness brought me to the hedonic treadmill, otherwise known as hedonic adaptation. In short, this psychological concept suggests we have a baseline of happiness that we return to after experiencing positive or negative events. This leads to a cycle of seeking new sources of happiness as the effects of previous events wear off. Meaning we can only be so happy for so long. A condition that social media fuels by promoting constant comparison, short-lived validation and fostering a fear of missing out.
If you’re in any doubts about the consequences of social media messaging, consider this: Who hasn’t seen someone feed and felt rubbish? Speaking from experience, it isn’t real. I write and post on social media about my mental health battles, but if you were to take a casual scroll through some of my posts you might think all was well in my world. I don’t actively fib to my followers, but not every picture is of me crying into a pillowcase.
Happily, there’s hope. A trick we miss or avoid altogether is emotional authenticity. It takes a lot to say how you really feel or admit that life could be better. Emotional authenticity means allowing ourselves to feel and process emotions like anger, disappointment, fear and sadness. When we are honest about our experiences, can we create genuine connections and more fulfilling relationships. All of which are essential components for lasting happiness.
I spoke to my mom about her want for me to be happy. She’s a therapist now and better understands the complexities of her ask.
“Yeah, I unknowingly set you up for a hard time with the pursuit of happiness,” she said. “We’re not designed to be happy. It comes from our innate fight-or-flight response, and physiologically we haven’t changed much. We’re designed to look out for threats which makes searching for happiness very hard because we have to override something that was there to ensure our survival.”
Moms know best. So, take this World Happiness Day as a reminder that happiness isn’t about chasing a picture-perfect life. Trying to be happy all the time is like trying to catch a unicorn — it’s not going to happen.
Instead, we should focus on our own journeys and embrace the full range of emotions that come with them. The sticky truth is that life is made up of dichotomies: light and dark, up and down, joy and sorrow. Accepting this doesn’t mean giving up on happiness, it means redefining it. By valuing authenticity and connection over comparison, we can create a healthier, happier world. And that’s something to smile about.
- About Us
- |
- Terms of Use
- |
-
RSS - |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Contact Us
- |
- Shanghai Call Center: 962288
- |
- Tip-off hotline: 52920043
- 沪ICP证：沪ICP备05050403号-1
- |
- 互联网新闻信息服务许可证：31120180004
- |
- 网络视听许可证：0909346
- |
- 广播电视节目制作许可证：沪字第354号
- |
- 增值电信业务经营许可证：沪B2-20120012
Copyright © 1999- Shanghai Daily. All rights reserved.Preferably viewed with Internet Explorer 8 or newer browsers.
