Children learn how to eat with the elite
Print Edition
MAKING sure one’s child has table manners fit for Buckingham Palace has become a top educational priority for some Shanghai parents, who are forking out for expensive etiquette lessons to give their little princes and princesses a social edge in posh settings.
Last month, a group of local children aged between 7 and 12 attended a special course in English table manners held by UK children’s clothing brand David Charles. Parents paid the princely sum of 3,800 yuan (US$580) a head for the course, which was presided over by British etiquette expert James Seatton.
During the dining course, the immaculately attired children learned how different pieces of cutlery are used for different courses, how to cut their food into neat little pieces, the importance of sitting still and upright, and that putting elbows on the table is a serious no-no in polite circles.
“The majority of our clients come for the Gentlemen’s Academy, but in the past year Children’s Table Manners has become more popular,” Seatton told Shanghai Daily.
Among five listed courses on Seatton’s website (Seatton.com), it is the only one aimed at the little ones, but it accounts for one third of the company’s business.
“The parents want their children equipped and ready when the time comes to go out and enjoy themselves in a western restaurant or into the western world sure in the knowledge that they know what to expect and how to behave,” Seatton said.
He attributed the growing popularity of etiquette lessons to more Chinese families traveling abroad. They find the experience more enjoyable and rewarding when they learn the local etiquette and have a more nuanced understanding of the culture in general, said Seatton.
Fancy western table manners aside, Shanghai parents want to improve their child’s etiquette in local settings as well. With this in mind, 30-year-old mother Sammi Wu enrolled her 7-year-old daughter in an eight-week etiquette course costing 2,400 yuan.
Wu said she wants her daughter to learn something that can be applied in her daily life, rather than just special situations, “and some traditional Chinese daily etiquette” that she needs to brush up on.
According to Wu, the course includes advice on sitting and standing postures, how to express gratitude or decline politely when elders serve food, as well as etiquette specific to traditional festivals.
The course is having the desired effect, she said, adding: “She has become more confident at saying thank you when receiving gifts. She even corrects us if we don’t behave right.”
This was echoed by Zhang Jing, chairwoman of China Children’s Etiquette Education Association’s Shanghai branch, who has been involved in etiquette training for eight years.
“Polite children are always more welcome and will receive more encouragement from others,” Zhang told Shanghai Daily. “The more positive feedback they receive, the more confident they will become.”
According to Zhang, learning how to behave in interviews is an increasingly popular component of children’s etiquette training, as many children face stiff competition when applying for primary schools.
“There’s not much a kindergarten student can do [to impress] at such interviews, so how well they behave is an important factor,” she said.
The advantage of children’s etiquette training is that they have not yet developed bad habits and have parents to encourage them.
“A good family environment will help the children to internalize their newly learned manners,” Zhang said. “That’s also why such training should start before the child is eight, as they haven’t formed habits yet.”
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