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September 23, 2014

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Home » City specials » Hangzhou

Second child issue sparks family debates

By Wu Huixin | September 23, 2014, Tuesday | Print Edition

THE amended one-child policy is having some unintended affects that are making life difficult for some families. Some couples who are already expecting a second child have found out that they are not eligible due to an adoptive sibling while other families bicker over the unborn child’s surname.

Caroline Shen, 30, is expecting her second baby next year. However, when she and husband went to the local authority to get approval certificate they were told they do not qualify to have a second child.

“Though my husband has a sibling, I think I meet the qualifications for having a second child,” Shen says. “However, I didn’t realize my adoptive sister would count as a sibling.”

Shen’s parents adopted a girl who was abandoned by her biological parents when Shen was a toddler.

Shen’s parents raised the girl as their own daughter and she has always had a good relationship with her sister, who doesn’t know she was adopted.

Nonetheless, the amended one-child policy stipulates that parents who want to have a second child should meet the provision that one of them is an only child, regardless of whether a sibling is biological or adoptive.

According to the stipulation, Shen cannot have a second child unless her parents terminate the adoptive relationship with her sister.

“The child means a lot to me and my husband. It is impossible to abort him,” Shen says. “But if I force my sister to end the adoptive relationship with our parents, she will know the truth and might be grieved to death. I don’t know what to do.”

Other families eligible to have a second child are also struggling with difficult decisions.

In July, an elderly Ningbo couple sued their adoptive daughter in order to terminate their adoptive relationship because they wanted their biological son and his wife to have a second baby.

Other families are having fierce arguments about the second child’s surname.

Michael Ge, 32, and his parents-in-law have reached a stalemate over the surname of his second baby, who will be born later this year.

“It is natural to name a child after the father, but my wife’s father insists on giving the baby his surname. That’s ridiculous,” Ge says.

As a conventional country, Chinese still place importance on carrying on the family line, which is in large part symbolized by the surname. In most cases, Chinese newborns are named after the father.

However, families with a daughter see a ray of hope in handing down their family name when their daughter conceives a second child.

“It is fair that the first child is named after the father while the second child is named after the mother,” says Wu Guiyong, whose daughter is expecting a second child next month. Wu and his son-in-law’s parents are still arguing over the grandchild’s surname.

The women who are pregnant with their second child are often stuck in an impossible situation.

“It really hurts that my husband and my father wrangle with each other over such a little trifle,” says Linda Xie, Ge’s wife. “In my eyes, the surname is totally meaningless. The health of my child is the one and only priority on my mind.”

In the first half of this year, 13,783 couples applied to have a second child but many families who are eligible are choosing not to do so due to the high costs associated with raising a child.

According to an online survey on web portal www.tencent.com, 73 percent of respondents said they might give up the opportunity to have a second child because of the expense.

The high price of a maternity maid, plus health care and education costs and daily expenses exert a heavy financial burden on parents today.

“My husband and I would be under great financial strain if we have two children. Today the expense of raising a child is so huge that our lifestyle would suffer if we had two kids,” a netizen named Amytang posted online.

“On the other side, I hope my daughter could have a sibling like me and my little sister,” she says. “Otherwise she will be lonely during her childhood and teenage years. Growing up with a brother or sister is good for kids.”

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