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August 2, 2015

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Poor script kills alien invasion

THE most believable element in “Pixels” is that alien video-game creatures could attack our planet.

The core concept is clever — space aliens misunderstand a recording of old video-games as a declaration of war, and send digital monsters based on those games to Earth as their army. But its execution in the hands of director-producer Chris Columbus and star-producer Adam Sandler is a mess.

This disappointing comedy falls apart before it begins because no one would behave the way its characters do, and their ridiculous choices drive the action.

Part of the problem is that it’s unclear who the filmmakers think their audience is. This is a big-budget spectacle about 1980s nostalgia aimed at kids who have no emotional connection to the decade.

It’s 1982, and Sam Brenner and Will Cooper are a couple of pre-teen boys excited about the new arcade in their neighborhood. They’re so good at video games that they compete in the world championships, and Brenner almost wins. A cocky, mullet-wearing kid who nicknamed himself “The Fire Blaster” takes first.

White House comes calling

Flash forward to present day, and Sam and Will are still best friends. Only now, Sam (Sandler) installs home-theater systems, and Will (Kevin James) is president of the United States.

Will snaps into action when a US territory is mysteriously attacked from the sky. He calls up Sam, the one-time video game championship runner up, hoping he might spot some arcade-inspired pattern in the airborne attack.

Sam is a loser who feels his best days are 30 years behind him, at the arcade. He’s the kind of guy who shows up to the White House wearing shorts and hits on the pretty homeowner whose theater system he’s installing.

That homeowner turns out to be Lieutenant Colonel Violet Van Patten (Michelle Monaghan), a defense leader forced to work with Sam and his team of childhood friends against the alien threat.

Josh Gad plays Ludlow Lamonsoff, a former video-game prodigy turned reclusive conspiracy theorist. He stows away in Sam’s van for some unexplained reason and ends up part of the military operation. Peter Dinklage is “The Fire Blaster,” who is in jail for criminal hacking. The president frees him to help protect the world from the invasion.

The few bright spots in “Pixels” come from the music, celebrity cameos and special effects. The soundtrack of Cheap Trick, Queen and Spandau Ballet match well with the 1980s game imagery. And the special effects dazzle. The alien video-game creatures pixelate everything they touch. Too bad they couldn’t get their digital hands on this script.




 

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