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December 1, 2015

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‘We want to be treated like ordinary people’

XIAO Jian, a 37-year-old gay man who is HIV positive, says he “officially” came out recently when he took his boyfriend back to his hometown to meet his family.

“My family and relatives were all very kind to us,” he said. “I felt so happy and relieved after living a life of secrecy for so many years.”

Xiao runs a non-government organization — Shanghai Homeland of Love and Care Group — that advises students on AIDS prevention and control. The group also promotes tolerance for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender, or LGBT, community.

Speaking ahead of today’s World AIDS Day, Xiao said that the biggest problem facing HIV-positive people is discrimination.

“There is misunderstanding about LGBT, especially gay men, who have a higher risk of HIV/AIDS,” Xiao said. “But we are not monsters. Our organization wants to tell people that gay men don’t equal HIV infection, that there is no necessary cause and effect if one practices safe sex. LGBT people are the same as anyone else. Everyone faces the risk of catching HIV.

“We want to take the message of non-discrimination to young people and help build a friendlier environment for all people with HIV/AIDS, who are just like other chronic disease patients suffering the likes of hypertension and diabetes.”

Xiao, a Jiangsu Province native, tested positive for the HIV virus in Shanghai in 2008. He blames it on unprotected sex with a gay friend, who was also found to be an HIV carrier.

“Doctors told me I might survive for several months only,” he said. “I felt so depressed that I even contemplated suicide. I didn’t know at that time about treatment for HIV/AIDS, so I went to the Internet and learned that I could survive if I took antiretroviral drugs regularly.”

Xiao realized then that most people, sometimes even doctors, had poor knowledge about HIV treatment. In early 2009, he set up the Homeland group for LGBT and HIV carriers to communicate with one another.

“AIDS education is not new in universities, but it doesn’t go much beyond ‘wear a condom when having sex,’” he said. “We have tried to make our university education program more interesting and fun. Students are curious about how we make friends and how we have sex.”

He added: “We tell them our stories and include dancing and singing in our lectures. We want to demonstrate that we are not scary, weird people. That is the start of mutual understanding. Some students, who are also LGBT but feel ashamed about themselves, begin to feel better in their own skins.”

Xiao said the group still has a long way to go in breaking down social taboos about homosexuality and HIV/AIDS.

“We just want to be treated like ordinary people,” he said. “We are making some progress, especially at the family level. I am considering a visit to my boyfriend’s family, and we are thinking about adopting a child in the future.”

Xiao and his partner, who is not an HIV carrier, have been together for eight years.




 

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