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July 25, 2015

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What! Give up my smartphone?

EDITOR’S note:

Shanghai has an estimated 33 million mobile phones in use, creating a culture where Internet-connected hand-held devices have become indispensable possessions. Has possession turned into obsession? Shanghai Daily decided to test that question by asking a staff member to give up the smartphone and all other Internet mobile devices for three days and write about the experience.

Finding a volunteer was like pulling teeth. The suggestion of parting with one’s smartphone for even one day drew horrified reactions. Tan Weiyun, a 30-year-old single who typifies the city’s young generation, finally agreed – reluctantly – to accept the challenge.

Here’s her account of life disconnected.

If it weren’t for a nettlesome editor constantly hounding me to give up my smartphone for three days and write about the experience, I would probably have come up with a thousand excuses why I couldn’t do what we now call “digital detox.”

I don’t really consider myself a phone junkie, but I admit that much of my daily life spins around my smartphone.

Most of my “friendship maintenance” is done on WeChat because we don’t have much time to meet up.

My omnipotent smartphone is way beyond a mere phone. It’s my notebook, my wallet, my MP3, my alarm clock, my camera, my watch, my recorder, my mirror and my game box. It’s how I access news, buy things, trade stocks, call taxis, keep accounts, take selfies and kill time.

So when I was prodded into giving up my phone for three whole days, I didn’t think I could survive. I chose two weekdays — a Thursday and Friday — and a Saturday to disconnect.

The night before the detox started, I got anxious, thinking about everything I had to do before my smartphone and I were parted. I put an announcement on my WeChat’s Moments, telling my friends that they would have to write e-mails (since I was still allowed access to a laptop) or contact me on my landline for three days. It was frankly weird, as though I were writing my own obituary notice.

My WeChat’s Moments was flooded with friends’ inquiries and sympathies, but mostly merciless ridicule from those who wanted to sit back and watch me sink into desperation. Some even started to taking bets on how long I would last, and others said they were appointing themselves as vigilantes to make sure I didn’t cheat. Good grief!

I copied down important contacts in a (non-digital) notebook. And I called friends to double-check the exact times and places of previously agreed rendezvous. I dug out my old alarm clock to set the get-up time for the following morning. At last, ready for the worst, I lay down in bed and picked up the novel that I had shelved for several weeks.

Day 1

Wakened by the alarm, I automatically fumbled for my smartphone, which I usually keep by my bed. It wasn’t there. My first brush with detox. I groaned.

Every morning, while still in bed, I normally check on WeChat to catch up with the latest from friends, and I access stock news before the market opens at 9:30am.

But today, I could do nothing. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, suddenly feeling isolated. I got up to turn on my computer, the only digital equipment I was allowed to use for the three days.

After having the breakfast while reading the news and checking my e-mails, I drove to work. I took along my notebook of contacts and some coins for pay phones.

“This isn’t so bad,” I said, trying to buoy my dubious spirits.

But wait, what was a red signal flashing on the dashboard in my car? It told me to stop the car immediately because something (which I didn’t understand) was wrong.

Not knowing what to do, I pulled over, stopped the car and started the engine again to see if the alarm signal would disappear. But it was still there!

I panicked. I was stuck with a car malfunction and I didn’t have a phone. If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong. Murphy’s Law was upon me.

I went blank for a few minutes. I scanned around for a pay phone, but saw none. Well, who really uses pay phones anymore? Desperate for help, I stopped a kind-looking passer-by and asked if I could borrow his phone.

“You don’t have a phone?” he asked, looking at me suspiciously.

“I left it at home because I was in a hurry this morning,” I lied, figuring it would do me no good to explain my mobile-abstinence assignment and risk his dismissing me as a crazy woman.

He softened. “Oh, sure, I understand,” he said, handing his phone to me.

I dialed 114 first to get the number of the 4S store and then called the store for roadside assistance. My phone lender was so warm-hearted that he waited until the rescue arrived.

“Remember to bring your phone next time,” he advised me before leaving.

The rest of my day was spent in the 4S store’s VIP room, using the computers with Internet access it offers to drivers. I checked my e-mails and did some office work.

Day 2

Today is Friday, but I don’t know if I am feeling “thank goodness” or not. I checked my notebook and found that I had an interview in the afternoon and a dinner with friends in downtown Xujiahui area.

I phoned, via my landline in the morning, to confirm again the meeting times and places. The location of my interview was unfamiliar to me, so I checked the driving route on my computer and noted it down. As a person without much sense of directions, I usually just open the map app on my smartphone and drive as I am told. Today I found myself having to read a paper map. How archaic is that?

I set off earlier than usual, chastened by yesterday’s unforeseen emergency. Luckily, everything went well and I arrived for the interview on time. I felt unsafe without my mobile phone. The only way to keep up my confidence was to stick to the daily schedule I set for myself.

After the interview, I drove to the restaurant to meet my friends. It was the first time I arrived on time for a rendezvous with them. They were surprised at my punctuality.

Things always go like that. You can find so many excuses when your life is full of distractions. But when life is suddenly simplified, you find it easier to focus on one thing at a time.

I am habitually overwhelmed with too many things and too much information every day. It makes me feel needed and connected. But was I really? My e-mails were fewer than I had expected, and my office landline didn’t ring much more than usual. As a matter of fact, I was not as important as I had thought.

When I got to thinking about this, I suddenly felt relieved instead of frustrated. I stopped worrying that people couldn’t reach me. If they wanted to, they would find a way.

Do I really need a smartphone badly? Yes, when an emergency happens. No, when I can arrange everything beforehand.

Over the dinner with friends, I didn’t take any selfies or photograph the dishes on the table as I usually do. Out of deference, my friends put away their mobile phones. We talked and laughed much more than usual for the whole evening.

Day 3

Today I am anxiety-free. I didn’t plan anything special because it’s my last day of digital detox and somehow I want to keep it to myself.

I finally had time to sit down to finish that novel, and I practiced some calligraphy without checking on my phone every 10 minutes. I didn’t feel the need to update my friends on WeChat Moments, peeping on who was doing what.

Instead, I picked up my home landline and made phone calls to my closest friends for a good chat. It was nicer than cold typing words or the cheap, easy “likes” I usually click below each of their WeChat posts.

It got me wonder. Are all those moments really their lives? Apparently not. As a phone junkie myself, I know that people just tell you what they want you to know, giving you a persona that they want you to see. I wondered about all the things that never get posted.

I spent Saturday thinking about this whole experiment. Without a mobile phone, I had more time for my own life, my family and my true friends. I had become more relaxed, focused and free.

That’s not to say there weren’t downsides to detox. I couldn’t, for example, enjoy any discounts without the coupons sent via mobile phones. Because all my credit cards are tied to my phone, I felt unsafe each time I swiped my cards and didn’t get the standard bank reply confirming a purchase. It was also inconvenient to buy things online. Well, I certainly saved a lot of money over the three days.

And what’s worse, I missed a very good entry point in my share trading. Someone with “insider news” sent me the information by mail after he couldn’t find me on my smartphone.

I also discovered that carrying a mobile phone around effectively eliminates certain embarrassing situations. Like the afternoon I was waiting in a bank line and found everyone around me glued to their smartphone screens. I felt awkward, even stupid, because I didn’t have anything to look at.

I survived three days without a mobile phone. It was inconvenient indeed, but not as boring as I had imagined. I became more punctual, more efficient and more organized. The experience helped me eliminate rubbish information and concentrate on my own life.

Would I do it again? Well, maybe, but for no more than three days at most.




 

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