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November 21, 2014

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Profound thoughts on love and happiness

LOVE that breathes. It is the catchphrase of “New Discoveries of Love,” written by German philosophy professor Wilhelm Schmid. He explores the history and philosophy of love, all the way from how Plato defined it, in order to find a relevant answer for today.

“Love evolves continuously, and its concept may change every 100 years,” the 61-year-old author tells Shanghai Daily on his book tour in Shanghai. His bestseller has just been translated and published in Chinese.

“How it was defined 100 years ago is very different from how people feel about it today. I try to use logic to explain these concepts, and there is no perfect answer for love,” he says.

Schmid’s best answer is “love that breathes,” drawing from both his research and his personal experience.

“Sometimes love is harmonious, sometimes not, sometimes filled with rich emotions, other times more like a habit, sometimes hugging intimately, and other times keeping a distance from each other,” he explains.

“It’s just like breathing. The intimate moments in love, the big hugs, are like when we inhale, and many people forget that to finish the process of breathing, and to live, you also need to exhale, to back up and keep a distance at times. That’s what I call the love that can breathe.”

His first book, “Happiness,” was also a bestseller in his home country and the Chinese edition was well received here. Shanghai Daily digs deep into the philosopher’s logic to find out more about love, happiness and what they mean to us.

 

Q: How did you start writing and why did you choose subjects like happiness and love, so universal, broad and abstract?

A: I grew up in the countryside, and later left for a big city, where relations are not stable like in the countryside. In cities, all kinds of relations are very rapid, and particularly love. Love relations are so easy to fail, and I wanted to know why. In order to answer that, I needed to understand the concept of love.

Love consists of emotions, sometimes they are there, and sometimes they disappear. What happens when they disappear? Is habit counted also as love?

My experience as a healer/therapist for those who are puzzled is also a very important deciding influence to my writing. They often ask me, why can’t I be happy? So I wanted to find out about happiness.

 

Q: So what is happiness?

A: My definition of happiness is that we feel comfortable, but that feeling of comfort is not a daily treat, so the definition changes at different times, but overall it is when people experience love, in its broad concept instead of the romantic relations.

If you feel unhappy, I will say maybe your standard is too high, which forbids you from appreciating life. Bring your expectations down just above the ground. When you don’t have overly highly expectations, then you can enjoy the joy fully.

 

Q: Did you expect the books to be successful? Why do people want to read and discover about happiness and love?

A: The success was not expected by me, but it definitely has something to do with the trend of the society getting more developed, more urbanized and more accelerated.

When someone is poor, he needs materialistic things to survive. But when he has enough of these things, survival is no longer a problem, and he starts asking why. Why am I not happy? Why do I fail in love?

 

Q: You said that love evolves over times, and the concepts may change every century. Will there come a day when the whole idea of love is no longer there?

A: I don’t think so. We need energy and love, in its broad sense, is what gives us a lot of that. The desire for love and emotions will never disappear, neither will these ideas. Because we will always need to be emotionally motivated.

 

Q: Do you have a prescription on how to live happily ever after?

A: First of all, think about what does beauty mean to you? What makes you satisfied, comfortable and happy? Is it a beautiful face, a good job, a pretty picture, a splendid scenario? What is it for you? That’s where you can get emotionally energized, and this is what can make you happy and satisfied occasionally. It is important to know you are not supposed to feel happy every day, every minute or every second. Happiness doesn’t come on a daily basis.

It is important, but not the most important. I consider the most important thing the meaning of life. Where does this meaning come from? It comes from good relations, relations with the people we love, and those who love us.

For example, I live for my wife and my children, and that is a big part of the meaning of my life. And I form all types of relations, in work, in friendship, in family, with other people, and these are all meanings of my life.




 

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