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Weddings were simpler, cheaper in leaner times
THE history of betrothal gifts can be traced back to the Confucian era. The earliest record is found in “Li Ji,” or the “Book of Rites,” in which the gift is described as a symbol of a solemn promise.
In ancient China, when a couple became engaged, the groom’s family would give the bride two gifts — one was cash and the other was some material object. The bride’s family would return the gesture with a reciprocal gift, usually handicrafts made by the bride.
After the establishment of People’s Republic of China in 1949, the old wedding traditions were deemed corrupt customs of the old society. Wedding rituals were simplified and betrothal gifts reduced to basics. The Law of Marriage prohibited demanding property as a condition of marriage.
It was pretty easy to fall in line with the new edicts because people in those days didn’t have much by way of material wealth.
“The coupons for daily staples were limited, and no one had the luxury of giving expensive gifts,” said Shanghai native Yuan Xiaojin who got married in 1983. “When I married, my mother-in-law gave us cheap rings. It was all my husband’s family could afford.”
Her family, however, prepared a handsome dowry that included furniture, bedding and a sewing machine.
“My in-laws paid all the costs of the wedding, and my family provided a dowry to reciprocate,” she said.
With economic prosperity, old traditions returned to the fore, sometimes with a vengeance.
The unwritten rule in Shanghai is that the groom’s family should provide an apartment, or at least the down payment on an apartment, while the bride’s family bears the cost of interior decorating, furniture and maybe even a car.
“It is impossible to buy an apartment without help from parents,” said Brian Su, a local white-collar worker. “At least the Law of Marriage now defines properties purchased before a marriage as pre-nuptial assets instead of community properties, which is quite fair.”
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